Finding the Balance Between People Skills and Planning Skills

The financial planning profession hasn’t historically prioritized the “softer” side of the work.

Technical expertise, retirement projections, tax strategies, and investment advice still dominate most training programs, job descriptions, and even performance reviews.

But here at Amplified Planning (and in partnership with firms and advisors who want to truly practice holistic financial planning)… we’re changing that!

When you actually sit in on real client meetings, one thing becomes clear: It’s not just the numbers that move people forward. It’s the conversation, the nuance, the trust. It’s about showcasing your ability to translate complex information into clarity, and to meet clients where they are emotionally, not just financially.

That’s why we’ve written about what planners can learn from therapists, highlighted the soft skills every new planner needs, and continue to push for a broader understanding of what competency actually means. (See: the FPA Competency Model.)

New planners are often told to focus on building trust and listening well. That’s the right instinct, but without structure and clarity alongside those interpersonal skills, meetings can stall, derail, or leave clients feeling overwhelmed.

This blog explores what happens when soft skills go unchecked — and how new planners can practice the kind of balance that sets great planners apart.

When Soft Skills Backfire

No one teaches you this in your coursework, but as soon as you start shadowing or working with clients, it becomes clear: your greatest people strengths can sometimes work against you.

We see it often with new planners, especially those who care deeply about getting it right. Empathy, curiosity, and thoroughness are essential traits. But without intentionality, they can quickly tip into patterns that create confusion or slow down progress.

What does it look like when you start to lean too hard into the personal element of your work rather than the planning element? 

The meeting stalls.

A client opens up emotionally, and instead of gently redirecting, you stay in that space. Before you know it, the meeting is over… and you didn’t cover what needed to get done.

Clients get overwhelmed.

A client asks a question about account types. You dive into the full history of IRAs, Roth rules, and contribution strategies. They nod… and leave feeling more confused than when they walked in.

You fall down the rabbit hole.

ou ask thoughtful questions, but one follow-up leads to another. But one follow-up leads to another, and suddenly you’re way off agenda. You’ve gained insight but lost direction.

These are normal missteps. But they’re also teachable moments. When you catch yourself leaning too hard into empathy or explanation, try reframing the goal:

• “What’s the most important decision this client needs to make today?”
• “Am I giving information — or helping them make a decision?”
• “Is this question helping us move forward?”

It’s not about shutting down those points of connection. It’s about using them strategically, which is what we’ll cover in the rest of this blog. 

Reflection Prompt: Which of your people strengths have created unexpected friction in work or life? If you’ve worked with clients, what behaviors have you noticed affecting the flow of the meeting? (e.g. overexplaining, too much silence, apologizing, etc.) 

What Do Clients Actually Want? 

Clients want to feel heard. They want to trust you. They want to feel like they’re in good hands. But they also want:

• A clear takeaway and action steps 
• A sense of forward motion
• Confidence that someone is leading

It’s easy, especially when you’re new, to try to prove your value by over-accommodating, over-researching, or overexplaining. But in doing so, you may actually overwhelm the client or delay the decision they came to make.

Reflection Prompt: Think back to a time when you felt stuck making a financial decision.

What helped you move forward? Was it more information… or was it someone helping you sort through the noise and take action?

If you work with clients, ask yourself: Am I overloading them with information? 

How to Practice Balancing People & Planning Skills

The best planners don’t just have soft skills. They know how to flex them based on the moment. Here are a few ways to start building that skill (but this list is by no means exhaustive). The key here is to “get your reps in” and really practice being with clients, whether they’re real, imagined, or case studies. 

Shadow experienced planners.

Whether you are an intern, shadowing a planner in your network, or following your mentor through their workday, this is a great way to watch and learn. 

Pay special attention to how a more experienced planner holds space for emotion and keeps the conversation moving — or doesn’t. You can learn just as much from a planner whose “style” or process you disagree with! 

Also consider how they pace the meetings, redirect clients, use silence, and engage overall. What surprised you about how they handled certain statements or questions? 

Role-play with other new planners.

Practice responding to emotional or unclear client statements. How do you show you’re listening without giving up structure?

It’s one of the most underrated tools for professional growth. Partner with a peer and take turns playing the client and the planner. Here are three common scenarios you can use in practice sessions:

Scenario 1: The Emotional Spiral

Client: “I feel like I’ve made nothing but mistakes with money. I’m embarrassed to even be here.”

What you’re practicing:

• Reflecting emotion without reinforcing shame
• Gently redirecting to the present and the work ahead
• Avoiding an overwhelming “fix it all” response

Scenario 2: The Overloaded Overachiever

Client: “I need to get my investments sorted, pay off debt, plan for college, maybe refinance… and I think I need a trust?”

What you’re practicing:

• Validating their concerns without feeding the overwhelm
• Prioritizing one decision or action for now
• Setting expectations for how the process will unfold

Scenario 3: The Unclear Ask

Client: “I’m just not sure if I’m doing enough. I mean, I think I’m saving okay, but I don’t know.”

What you’re practicing:

• Asking clarifying questions to understand their actual concern
• Identifying whether the issue is strategy or confidence
• Avoiding an info dump when they may just need reassurance

After your role play

After each role-play, debrief with your partner using questions like:

• Did I acknowledge what needed to be heard?
• Did I help the client get closer to clarity or action?
• Where did I feel myself over-explaining or defaulting to behaviors that didn’t serve the client well?

These soft-skill flex points don’t always happen in the big, obvious parts of a meeting. They show up in subtle ways — how you respond to emotion, how you handle ambiguity, and how you know when to pause vs. when to pivot.

If you work with clients already: Debrief after every meeting.

If you’re already working with clients, one of the most valuable habits you can build is a simple post-meeting debrief. After each client conversation, take 5–10 minutes to reflect, not just on what happened, but on how you showed up and what impact it had.

Start with these questions — maybe add them to your meeting notes:

• What was said?
• What topics came up? Were there surprises or emotional undercurrents?
• What was solved?
• Did the client make a decision, gain clarity, or agree on next steps?
• What did the client leave knowing or feeling?
• Did they feel reassured? Overwhelmed? More confident? Unsure? Pay attention to what was unsaid, too.
• What would I do differently next time?

This isn’t about self-critique — it’s about noticing patterns. Did you over-explain? Miss a redirection opportunity? Stay too long in exploration? Over time, these quick reflections can help you build awareness of your default tendencies, spot competencies you need to focus on, and become more intentional in how you balance care with clarity.

Reflection Prompt: In your last client interaction (or mock session), did you meet both the emotional and strategic needs? What worked? What needs refinement?

Where Real Growth Happens

Balancing client care and client service isn’t about picking a side. It’s about knowing how to balance the two. But that balance isn’t a skill you can master just by reading about it. You have to practice it — and see how experienced planners manage both care and clarity with real clients. The best learning moments show up in real client conversations, uncomfortable pauses, awkward introduction, or tech issues.

But when you’re first starting out, you likely won’t have the chance to work with that many clients to “get your reps in.”  That’s why we created Amplified Planning CORE.

Inside CORE, you’ll get access to full-length, real client meetings so you can observe how experienced planners navigate the gray areas in real time. You’ll hear what they say, how they say it, when they redirect, and how they manage both emotional insight and practical next steps. You’ll also see “post-meeting commentary” from an expert CFP® professional, Hannah Moore, as she talks through why she asked a question, gave a client time to process, or redirected conversations. 

This post-meeting commentary is invaluable in helping you find the balance between people skills and planning skills — and it builds confidence in your ability to hold meetings yourself.  

You’ll also get live learning and small group coaching calls, where you’ll be able to role play scenarios, ask questions about how to handle client situations, and more. 

Learn more about what you get when you join Amplified Planning CORE. We hope you’ll join us!